lennon-in-the-sky-with-timelords:

So my cousin was in a gay pride parade and everything in her outfit and makeup was rainbow but she was wearing red contacts and while marching, a protester behind her yelled “You’re going straight to hell” and she turns around to face him with her fuCKING blood red eyes and she says “well duh, I got a kingdom to run” and the protester nearly fucking passed out that is her legacy I want to be like her

6,856 notes
lennon-in-the-sky-with-timelords spiritsloth
blazepress taeyeezus

yzma:

'babe, what's the safety word'

'jacobs by marc jacobs for marc by marc jacobs in collaboration with marc jacobs for marc by marc jacobs'

15,922 notes
yzma spiritsloth

winterfvll:

Naked cuddles are actually the best thing bc you can lay there and know that eventually the other person will fuck the shit out of you.

120,819 notes
winterfvll spiritsloth

baratheas:

marblechemist:

labyrinth-of-lucifer:

I really fucking hate it when guys act like marriage is literally the end of their lives like if it’s so fucking bad, and you hate it so much, don’t get fucking married and put your spouse through hell because you’re shit. If you feel trapped you’re doing it wrong.

Filed under: Sitcom Tropes That Need to Go Away Forever

Filed under: Things men actually think that aren’t just found on TV shows

93,248 notes
labyrinth-of-lucifer spiritsloth

succeeding:

i hate it when hot people post those collages of their selfies like what the fuck i can’t even take one good one

4,999 notes
succeeding tragically-magically
63,805 notes
sandandglass taeyeezus
22,938 notes
tokomon taeyeezus

officialwhitegirls:

people born in december 1999 be like i miss the 90’s 

121,258 notes
officialwhitegirls tragically-magically
givemeinternet spiritsloth

What if you wake up one morning and you’re in bed with the love of your life and they have their arm around you and their snoring like a fucking ass hole, but you can’t help but to smile and you hear a baby crying and it finally hits you, you’ve made it.
you beat the demons inside you, the voices, the darkness.
I look forward to that, to knowing I made it.

398,141 notes
annaoverboard spiritsloth

yesings:

what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party

186,550 notes
miniaturepoodle tragically-magically
lauren-ariel the-absolute-funniest-posts

frenchfrycoolguy:

exchanging grammatically correct emails with adults is the most uncomfortable form of human interaction in existence

16,083 notes
frenchfrycoolguy tragically-magically

oh I see how it is

bears can hibernate and it’s a “part of nature”

but when I do it’s “creepy” and “antisocial”

132,430 notes
jonahryantology tragically-magically